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love

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My Granddaughter

mother love

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♥ ☆ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥ ☆ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆

Fly away my angel,
Spread your wings and fly;
Take the beauty of your soul,
And share it with the sky.

♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆

Take the warmth within your heart,
And put the sun to shame;
The glow of summer's sunlight.
Will never be the same.

♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆

Take the strength within your soul,
From your heart, the tenderness there;
Behold the majesty of the sky,
Its beauty does not compare.

♥ ☆ ♥ ☆♥ ☆ ♥ ☆

Take the splendour of the stars,
That twinkles in the sky;
It fades in the matchless sparkle,
Of the beauty there in your eyes.

♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆

Fly away my Angel,
For I have set you free;
I will wait here patiently,
Until you fly back to me.

♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆♥ ☆



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__________$$__________ ♥
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Image by Sprengben [why not get a friend] via Flickr

A Mother's Tears



I have filled an ocean with tears.
...
Salty and bitter, they flow from my soul.

All the grief, all the pain

All the sadness, all the fears.



All the hurt, all the whys.

All the could haves, all the loss.

All the regrets, all the lost chances.

All the wants, all the goodbyes.



I have filled an ocean with tears.

Sweet and soft, they flow from my soul.

All the joy, all the laughter

All the love, all of the years.



All the rewards, all the smiles.

All the triumphs, all the hellos.

All that was right and all that was good.

All the kisses and hugs from my child.



I have filled an ocean with tears.

Salty and bitter, sweet and soft.

For love, for sadness, for joy, for pain.

I have filled an ocean with tears.

15 year of boy stabbed in London

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Image by AndyRob via Flickr

I wonder if my son on that comet as I am trying to find him he could be trying to fly back to me , back into my arms .

Image by Mapicruz via Flickr

Its unbelievable to imagine a son being shot in the chest, murdered a life taken from a mother for no reason , but revenge for someone else's death, an argument a son friend had with someone else and my son ended up being shot . So many children adult children being shot, stab in London . I feel like I am living in a mist, the photo above represents how I feel in my mind , thoughts feeling

My son voice, while he was on holiday with his friend, it dame hard listening to his voice it grips me in my chest feel like stabbing pains, I want to scream like lighting striking me , but then in a strange way its loving listening to Anthony voice it feel like his alive but lost somewhere in space time.




This video is when we went on a March for Justice in May 3rd 2010 .

A whole year 365day so far since June 4th since my son was taken away from us, who ever said time is a healer is talking rubbish all time does is one gets use to not living with love on who has pass away but still I find it hard not living with my son, there a yearning in my soul in the core of my whole being that craves to hold my son in my arms ones again I look at photos of my son and that yearning comes to me , but its imposable for my imagination to even imagine not holding him or holding him it’s so confusing feeling that all I can do is break down cry .

This feeling came over me yesterday . Tuesday June 16 2010

I received a letter today telling me that my sons Inquest is finally going to happen on August the 16,( year after my son death ) so sad. But then as I was reading the letter my son partner rang she coming from Cardiff today with my grandson as she going to some party in the park in Summerset so I am looking after my grandson till Sunday it be joy to look after him, he so looks like his father .

Photo is of My mum dad brother and I at my brother first holy communion .

I had dream last night of my father who pass away in 02 he was telling me about his trip across Spain went, then I woke up within the same dream feeling sad and then my mum jump into bed with me I was telling her all about my dream of dad, but in the dream I did not realize mum was dead also in real life.

My mother pass away with cancer 6 weeks after my son was murdered, I had seem my son cold dead body while mum was passing slowly away with cancer . its the frist time in a year that I have dream of mum it was lovely seeing her in the dream so young health look . Mum waited for Anthony to be buried then in that same week we lay Anthony to rest I told mum the funeral happen few days later mum joined Anthony in death .

My son partner had her baby, life just been one rollercoaster of emotions confused thoughts feelings I don’t know how I am coping, but it’s been a year on now since my son was murdered I had forgotten all about this blog until I read of someone else death in an area near where I live, it sadden me deep within my heart to know that another life has been taken from a mother.

Anthony my son baby is arriving soon . My son never new his partner was expecting a baby when someone shot my son down dead by mistake on June 4th 2009 .

Samara getting pains in the back . I work for have book the 16th of when the baby arrives, but its the 5th February today samira phone to to tell me she feeling the pain now . I hope they hold on (as if ) till I arrive on the 16 /

My angel's right beside me,
wherever I may go,
keeping close watch over me,
he's sister don't you know.
God took him away from me,
not so long ago,
but he promised he'd never leave me,
dear lord I miss him so.
But I know he's right beside me,
wherever I may go,
for he's my guardian angel,
my love, my life, my soul.

Up in those clouds, somewhere up there is my son Anthony , So in my imagination Anthony take me by the hand we fly together dancing swinging around .













Saturday to day I have uploaded from my mobile some photos I have taken from inside the bus of my view of my area of London, while I listen to my son music on my Ipod on my way to work

To the living, I am gone,

To the sorrowful, I will never return,

To the angry, I was cheated,

But to the happy, I am at peace,

And to the faithful, I have never left.

I cannot speak, but I can listen.

I cannot be seen, but I can be heard.

So as you stand upon a shore gazing at a beautiful sea--

As you look upon a flower and ad...mire it's simplicity--

Remember Me.

Remember me in your heart.

Your thoughts, and your memories,

Of the times we loved,

The times we cried,

The times we fought,

The times we laughed.

For if you always think of me,

I will never have gone

Anthony and His sister Marie on holiday in Grenada.
Anthony loved his sister as much as they loved him.

My mum dad with Anthony in there back garden when Anthony was 2 years old

Taken when Anthony was around 20 years old